I have to do WHAT???

You cannot be shy when job hunting.

Damn.

When the outplacement service told us that 65% of jobs were gotten through “networking activities”, I had two words for that:

“Oh Sh*t”

I am not an extrovert. I am, and forever shall be, a shy person. Oh sure, I’ve had to fabricate some “outward” moments in my life, but happily I report, those stomach turning bouts of gut wrenching nervous anxiety never resulted in outright vomiting. I’ve recently given our two hounds nicknames: Sleepy and Dopey. How fitting then that I will dub myself…Bashful.

I could blame my bashfulness on being the youngest of six. I presume that for every child born into the clan, and the bigger the clan, the youngest always has less of a voice, (especially when your brother holds a pillow over your face most days...)

I’m sure that when Mom took me out shopping or wherever, there were always the hushed whispers, “Is she mute???” or “Oh look honey, that little girl must’ve been victim of a freak tongue amputation incident. Poor thing.”

Later in my early teens, I actually managed to branch out into using the phone. It went something like this: “Hello? Yes, this is Edna Weiers. I’m calling for Bridget, she…” (fill in the blank).

I hated talking to people. Getting a job helped a bit, as the average joe doesn’t understand, “you want fries with that?” in sign language.

So, I survived my early 20’s, “getting by” with as little human interaction as possible. I e-mailed people in the next cube.

Okay, okay, I was just lazy.

Given that I do now consider myself a pretty good manager/leader, I suppose I have gotten over my shyness. Mostly. That, or I ‘m one hell of an actress. (Is that a new career calling???)

There are many cures to shyness. The biggest and best? "Cliff-diving" as I call it.

Just do it. Just call. Just knock. Just TALK for God’s sake.

At some point, I had to take over those calls, lest they would have sounded like this: “Hello Dan? Yes, this is Edna Weiers, Bridget’s mom? Yes, well, she thinks you’re hot and wait, I can’t see this, let me get my glasses…Yes, I’m back…let’s see here, she was wondering if you’d like to.… Hello? Hello? Are you still there??”

Marriage. A triumphant cure for shyness.

Another winning strategy?? Child-birth. The second they say “stirrups” you’re done.

I longed to overcome ALL the hurdles that were keeping me from TRUE EXTROVERT-NESS!!! What is it!? What is the key to my destiny?? !!!

Then it hit me like a brick one day while in front of a crowd of 50 at work. (How the hell did I get myself into THAT situation??? Was I being punished??? Did I violate some Code of Conduct????)

The answer –> Make ‘em laugh. Make em think you’re as freakin' funny as they think you are.

DONE!

So. Back to 65% of jobs gotten through networking. Still thinking, “sh*t, I don’t want to do this”.

I couldn’t see myself going into a networking meeting, with the hopes of “making myself known” to these people with a pocket full of sarcasm and a few jokes. But if THIS is what is supposidley going to land me a great job, I didn’t really have a choice but to go meet with "those people", sans the funnies.

So I cliff-dove this week. Not once, but twice. Didn’t even have to get Edna involved. Got two contacts through former colleagues, called them up, requested a meeting to discuss their company. And to my surprise, they did not have three heads, 7 inch claws, or growl at me.

I expressed much interest in THEM and THEIR careers (people love to talk about themselves…we are after all, innately selfish SOBs…) and then the little voice inside me made sure I told them how FABULOUS I was and how they couldn’t live without me. (Not quite, but you get the idea...)

They were nice. Very, very, nice. And from that very EXTROVERTED act on my part, I have 5 more contacts in my target companies to reach out to. And I will! I AM NOT AFRAID! TELL ME WHERE THE POPE LIVES AND I’LL GO NETWORK WITH HIM TOO!!! (Oh wait. “Married” and “Female” leaves me with limited job opportunities in the Catholic Church ;-)

So I have two new words:

“Yeah me!”

Another highlight for the week: MAJOR GLOBAL INSURANCE COMPANY called me to do a phone interview, and it went well. Hoping for an "in person" one in a week or two. I didn’t even apply for the job, they found me on CareerBuilder.com. VERY cool position, VERY much more $$.

The only question I have now is, why the hell am I working so hard???

The irony is, well...funny.

;-)